this is how we love.

To everyone who reads my tumblr, I’m sorry for the random posts lately. I tend to get down on myself for no reason at all, and forget about all the good things that are in my life. Life will never go my way, and I need to remember that. This isn’t my life, and I need to stop being so selfish. I need to just spend this summer focusing on God. I’m away from friends, which can be an awesome thing, because now I have three months to focus on myself, and spend time with my family. I don’t have the stupid distractions that would come with being home, and being here, I can actually figure out who I am as a person and figure out what I’m supposed to do. So i just wanted to clear it up by saying, I really am so so so thankful for everything i have and for where I am right now, even if I may not seem it. :) God is so so so good, even when we want to doubt him. He knows what is better for us, and I just need to remember that. 

Gahh! 

I’m so over this.

God is the only way.

the ONLY way.

but THAT message, ruins everything. I really need to get you out of my head, or find someone else, fast. 

I know that North Carolina was a good move for me, but I miss you. I’m trying to stay positive through all this, because I know that I’m losing you. I can’t be negative or upset about it though, because I know that it will all work out in the end. Oh well. It’s life I guess. 

This past week has been beyond amazing. I love this place. I don’t ever want to leave here, ever. 

You drive me insane, you really do. Dont you know that you cant do that to me? Especially when i’m not going to be able to see you anymore. It’s a rarity. You always wait until the worst possible time and pull the same thing. Do you think its not going to affect me? Because it does. Oh boy, you drive me crazy. I know i’ll get over it in a few days, but until then, im just going to continue going insane

I hate how I never sleep when i’m here.. And once I am here, the nightmares are so bad I’m afraid to fall back to sleep. I hate being alone.

God is amazing. I told my Dad I wasn’t living in Northville, quit Stewarts, and became unemployed all in one day. The greatest part? I couldn’t be more at peace with it. I’ve never been more calm about a decision that I’ve made. I know that God will take care of me as long as I let him. I’m excited for a summer in North Carolina. I’m glad that I’m taking the time to explore other places, and see more of what this world has to offer. I’m glad that I decided to stop worrying, and decided to trust in God more.